If you’ve ever had a cat, then it’s no shock to you that one way they entertain themselves is by making our lives slightly more difficult when going about our daily tasks or household chores. They are notorious for seeking out cheap thrills and fun opportunities whenever possible, even at our expense. Most cat people have caught themselves wondering if cats have an actual sense of humor, because it often seems that they amuse themselves by watching us react to their shenanigans. The following are some tasks cats make more difficult for us than they really should be.
Other than a rock-hard undersized cardboard box, there’s nothing more comfortable to your cat than a lumpy pile of freshly cleaned laundry. Your cat seems to test your level of motivation by creating a barrier between you and your task. But they do say that the ones who love you the most will challenge you, do they not?
“Oh I’m sorry, were you right in the middle of doing that?” ~The Cat
CHANGING THE BED SHEETS
Ninety-nine percent of cat owners can relate to how daunting this task becomes as soon as the cat enters the room. Especially if your sheets are nice and you don’t want the cat’s claws shredding or snagging them. Yet the cat seems to have a sixth sense that knows when you are about to change the sheets on your bed and they will come sprinting from across the house to participate. Suddenly you are desperately defending your bed while the cat terrorizes your property. There seems to be five ways this typically plays out:
-Cat plays parachute and jumps on bed just as sheet lifts into air, creating a cat lump under sheet that needs to be removed immediately. As owner lifts sheet, cat grabs and pulls it back down, often clawing owner’s hand at same time. Challenge officially started.
-Cat goes wild at sight of sheets and lashes at them as owner tries to straighten them out on bed, snagging sheets or worse, putting small holes in them.
-Cat tugs at pillow case as owner tries to stuff pillow in it. One pillow down, three more to go. May the best cat win.
-Or….cat slowly and casually jumps on bed and makes itself comfortable as soon as it sees owner pull sheets out of laundry basket. Owner gently lifts cat, placing on floor. Cat jumps back on bed and lies down in same spot. Move and repeat seven more times.
-Cat stands or sits on top of sheet and watches owner struggle to pull, straighten, and center sheet on bed while being slowly dragged around with sheet. Owner eventually succeeds. Cat still refuses to move. Top sheet and comforter cover cat and owner walks away.
“I’ve got 99 problems and now changing the bed sheets is one.” ~Cat Owner
There are only two time periods that are relevant: B.C. (before cat) and A.C. (after cat). Sometimes I fantasize about what it was like to sleep in on the weekends before my current cat, Liam, entered my life. Now 2 1/2 years A.C., every morning at sunrise (about 5:30) he begins his morning ritual of meowing and terrorizing my bed in order to get me up. How dare I have the nerve to sleep when he is bored, hungry, or just irritated for no apparent reason? Sometimes if I’m lucky, he’ll allow me to get back in bed and sneak in an extra hour of sleep after I’ve fed him his breakfast. Sometimes.
“I haven’t used an alarm clock in years. I have an alarm cat.” ~Cat Owner
PACKING YOUR SUITCASE
You carefully fold your clothes and thoughtfully place them into your suitcase in an organized fashion, then briefly put your attention on something else. You then turn around to find that the cat has not only carelessly kicked half your clothes out, but is now lying inside the suitcase, prohibiting you from placing anything else in it while leaving behind hair in the process. Congratulations, you are officially a cat owner.
“So it appears you are trying to go somewhere without me. Bet you can’t pack your bag with me in it! Nah nah nah..” ~The Cat
As though packing up your entire home into cardboard boxes is not challenging enough on its own, add the fact that your cat now perceives the chaotic scene as an instant fun house, as well as an obstacle course that he is determined to conquer. Any box is now fair game, so you’d better tape it shut if you don’t want the cat stepping on or messing with what you put in there. And if you’re really lucky, your cat won’t perceive removing the tape as yet another challenge.
“If it wasn’t for me to jump in, then why did you place it right there?” -The Cat
And MOVING (as in your body)
One who’s ever had a sleepy, snuggly kitty on their lap knows the struggle of enduring the discomfort of a leg cramp, full bladder needing desperately to be emptied, or a foot that has fallen asleep. All of this we suffer through for the sake of our cat and their comfort because of how much we love them. We know all too well that if we move, so will they, thus the Hallmark moment will be ruined. This is why cat people are generally more patient, because they’ve trained us to be.
Cat Paralysis: Loss of the ability to move due to cat being on you.
WORKING FROM HOME
Need to get some work done on your computer? Give yourself an extra hour if there’s a cat around. I’ll never fully understand the fascination cats have with our computers. The feeling of the keyboard buttons under their feet, the taste of the corners of the screens rubbing their teeth, the humming vibration against their bodies….all fascinating sensations to a cat. Liam used to constantly bat around my “mouse” and steel my pens, which I eventually found under the couch.
“However, he is the cutest paperweight ever.” ~Cat Owner
It’s unclear what entices a cat to pester you while you’re reading a book or magazine. Your spoiled ball of fur suddenly needs attention that he can’t get anywhere other than directly between you and your book. This often results in having to place your book down and pet the cat. Sometimes he will even have the nerve to chew on your book or try to lay on it. This also seems to be a great time for your cat to fall asleep on you, hindering not only your reading but also resulting in cat paralysis.
“You didn’t really want to read that, did you?” ~The Cat
You’ve finally managed to muster up enough motivation to lay out the exercise mat and turn on the workout video, but there’s now just one small problem. Your cat is plotting to keep you from making any progress by placing himself directly on or under the mat.
“Let’s play a game. It’s called: If you want to use that mat you’ll have to first move this cat.” ~The Cat
Did you know when you brought your cat home for the first time that you were also acquiring a professional food inspector? This means that every time you eat, your cat must at least inspect and smell the food on your plate before you finish it. He has to make sure it’s suitable for you to eat, after all. You should thank him. Sometimes he will reward himself by grabbing something off your plate with his mouth and running across the house with it. We simply refer to that as a “bad kitty.”
“If I’m not supposed to have that then why does it exist?” ~The Cat
If you have a cat then you know that this simple struggle is real. You pour yourself a fresh, cold glass of water, take one sip, and set it down. Next thing you hear is the sound of your cat’s tongue lapping up said water and you look over to find its face in the glass. And there you have it – another perfectly good glass of water completely spoiled. How rude.
In order to outsmart the cat before he contaminates your water, you must:
-Always be one step ahead.
-Develop telepathic communication with your cat so that you always know when he’s spotted the glass and is getting ready to make a move.
-Have superior peripheral vision, or even better – eyes in the back of your head.
-Simply not leave your water glasses around unattended. After all, it’s the cat’s house and he’s kind enough to let you live in it. Have some manners and pick up after yourself for gosh sake.
“What’s mine is mine and what’s yours is especially mine.” ~The Cat
Liam often sleeps right up under my face, and if we’re not positioned properly then it tickles his whiskers or ears every time I exhale and he flutters them and wiggles his head around. So I adjust my breathing intensity or head position accordingly as to not disturb my cat, of course. It’s okay if I hyperventilate, as long as the cat is comfortable. If I do move, I must move slowly because heaven forbid the cat get cranky – which is a professional cat person skill that one will master with experience and time.
“Your breathing is tickling my fur. Can you please stop?” ~The Cat
KEEPING A STRAIGHT FACE
There’s nothing like entering the room and finding your cat in silly situations. If you had a dime for every time the cat made you smile or crack up, you’d be rich. But with that being said, you already are rich – because you have a cat. Which is priceless.
“Just thought that you needed to lighten up more, so I existed.” ~The Cat
GETTING YOUR HEART BACK
Once a cat gets a hold of your heart, which doesn’t take long, consider it theirs forever. Surrender meow. They have the power to crawl into our hearts and reside there forever, transforming us into better humans. As irritating as they can be, most of their kitty shenanigans become adorable and highly therapeutic through the laughter and smiles they induce. So embrace all the unique and not-so-unique qualities of your cat, because cats add character to a home it otherwise wouldn’t have had.
“I’ve forgotten what life was like before I had a cat. All I know is that my heart has expanded and softened and I’ll never be the same.” ~Cat Owner
If you relate to any of these “tasks that were 10x easier before you had a cat” or have one of your own that wasn’t mentioned, let us know in the comments below!
(Featured photo by Anthony de Kroon)